Criminal Christmas # 21 – Mean Machine
A footballer (soccer player) is convicted of a drunken assualt is asked to help coach the prison guards team. When he refuses he organizes a team to play against them with predictable results.
Yes, this is a remake of The Longest Yard, which was released in the UK as Mean Machine. This time the game is real football, not the NFL.
While this is not a Guy Richie movie, he can take credit for having setup the trend towards this movie with both Lock, Stock.. and Snatch.
As in both the previously mentioned Richie movies, Mean Machine stars, wait for it, Vinnie Jones as a violent psycho soccer player who’s time has passed and who finds himself in prison surrounded by other violent psychos. He is helped on the team by the biggest psycho in the prison, played by Jason Statham.
If you have seen the Burt Reynolds movie, or the Adam Sandler remake, you know how it goes. This version is funny as can be with a lot of British humour that is a little rough at times. The action is very well done and although the final game is predictable still good.
Probably my favourite of all the British Criminal movies, it contains more humour and wit than other movies and has some brilliant moments when The Broadhurst Monk (Statham) is standing in goal, daydreaming about killing everyone around him.
One of the best criminal sports movies ever.
